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HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy

1. You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
2. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
18. You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
21. You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.