Connie's Craziness

One of my fav things is warm tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Makes me think of home and cozy places. Clean and fresh sheets on my bed. I love the smell and the feel of the crispness of the sheets

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy You get a secret thrill out of laminating things. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted. You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another. You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom. You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”. You believe chocolate is a food group. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. You believe that unspeakabl...

Woke up really late today :)  Love vacation!  Played on the computer a bit and read a little. Then Janessa and I went to Cato. Then to Walmart. Back is killing me. I stayed in bed so long today because laying flat meant no pain. This flare up of Fibro symptoms is hard. It makes me tend to blame a particular person for this. Janessa went over to eat left overs with Mom and Daddy. I do not like left overs. Probably a trauma from being a poor child.

Triskaidekaphobia???   A new year with new adventures. My life is more than half over. I feel so much is undone. I do not feel much different from 1976. Still unsure and uncertain.

Not sure I can continue on like this. For 30 years I have taken all the crap that has been thrown at me and have prevailed. I have been strong and resilent. I AM TIRED. I do not want to be strong anymore. It sucks. I wish so many things. I wish not to HATE. I wish not be JEALOUS and envious of others who have those perfect 'Leave it to Beaver' lives. All I ever wanted  was a family, a home, a life that was easy and not fillled with stress and discord. All I have gotten is SHIT. BUT then i HAVE TO TURN AROUND AND be friendly with these people with the perfection. Is that fair? NO Fucking Way

I cannot believe I am teaching 3rd grade this year. This takes a whole new mindset. I am a good teacher and I know I can do this. BUT it feels so challenging at this point.

I have had a few (more than a few) frustrated days. Surely by now a decision for next year has been made. I have thrown myself into panic mode over this and I am getting more and more worried about where I will be and what I will be doing. I wonder if she could make me transfer somewhere else???? It would NOT be fair esp since Cole is the sorriest excuse for a teacher there has been in a long while. I am not sleeping well, eating well, or anything else well at this point. I just feel frustrated. I know I should feel grateful to have a job. And I am. BUT I usually am in the planning stages of the beginning of the year and I cannot DO anything at this juncture. I love that word--juncture. It is soooooo Nancy Grace!!